they tell us that someone jumped in front of the tracksthat he died upon impactso we just sit there in silence as they remove his remains. Science Says No. not, 'Can you help me help you?'" AWAKEN is produced by the Rubin Museum of Art in collaboration with Sound Made Public. It didn't work. And then people began to tell me that the way that I moved my body was wrong, because it was feminine. The sight of me walking with my head high -- brown, bearded, and in a bold red lip -- was too much for them. Big Break: This summer, Mx. Acclaimed gender non-conforming writer, performer, and speaker, ALOK, shares their story, and the We do not handle requests for donation of time or media requests for interviews, and cannot provide celebrity contact information. WebCome here to share slam poems, or talk about slam! The same applies to their hair style. And so, what I guess Im trying to cultivate in my life is the kind of courage and conviction and stamina to continue every day to ask myself, Who am I? AAE Named to Inc. Best Workplaces in 2022. Goodreads helps you follow your favorite authors. Support Button Poetry: http://bit.ly/buttonpatreonSubscribe to Button! And then everyone loves it and theyre clapping. Every time Im feeling shame, I breathe into that location. I dont need you to show up to 'protect' me," Porter wrote on Instagram. And what most people dont know is that one of the tactics of colonization was the attempted cultural genocide of these populations. Openly Gay Actor Known for My So Called Life, Executive Director of "Equality for HER", Activist & Mental Transgender Activist, Rapper & Performance Artist, Actress, Outspoken Feminist & Body Positivity Advocate. poet. Transgender Model & Advocate; Founder of Gender Proud. I now know that there are as many ways to be beautiful as there are people. School, Vaid-Menon explained to me, was difficult, and they needed an outlet. 2017 also saw ALOK being selected as the youngest recipient of the Live Works Performance Act Award, granted to ten performance artists across the world. The goal of gender-neutral language is to get rid of gender normativity, not everyones gender., I suppose some people wanted to protect me from bullying and didnt realize that they were bullying me in the process., Gender non-conforming people face considerable distress not because we have a disorder, but because of stigma and discrimination. Contact All American Speakers for ratings, reviews, videos and information on scheduling Alok Vaid-Menon for an upcoming live or virtual event. On their website, they have almost 200 poems and blog posts with titles ranging from cis feminisms double standards to The Grief of Having No Language to Express Your Grief. As a mixed-media artist their work explores themes of trauma, belonging, and the Be the first to learn about new releases! Its the inability to see that vibrancy, diversity, instability, collapse, rupture, serendipity are the natural orientations of being alive. Let, This #trans couple will be the first known parents, With anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-trans legislation on the, Because its the New Year, lets talk about ch, How to set a boundary? Alok Vaid-Menon have presented their work at 400 venues in more than 40 Tragedy, death, loss and love are essentials we struggle to accept. Why wouldnt you live in the pulse of the universe? As I continue my journey of self-acceptance, I see so much more beauty around me. Gender diversity is an integral part of our existence. When I first told my grandmother I was transgender she responded, "How could you do this to me?" It felt like I didnt have a body anymore. LAURIE ANDERSON: Welcome to AWAKEN, a podcast presented by the Rubin Museum of Art in New York City. In some cases, the actual quote may be above or below the stated range. We have deep ancestral roots and evidence of thousands of years of people, not just existing, but thriving and being celebrated outside of the Western division of populations into man/woman, male/female. Fill out a, Booking fees for Alok Vaid-Menon, or any other speakers and celebrities, are determined based on a number of factors and may change without notice. This false choice of boy or girl, man or woman, male or female is not natural - it is political. And that cant coexist with a project that is more about control than creative self-exploration. Alok Vaid-Menon: The Urgent Need for Compassion. comedian. And that degree of intention, I hope to bring into everything. Could it be that we actually are practicing something thats so important and organic and necessary that its more important than that? but instead i will sit here and wait until the train starts up again.i will exit the car without saying goodbye to her.i will walk up the stairs to the boy outside with the smile that makes me feel less lonely. What a joy it is to be able to curate the sounds of my own soundtrack. And so freedom for me is a daily practice, and its constantly evolving and absolutely not linear, which is so unfortunate sometimes. And the argument is that historically color became associated with indigenous people, with communities of color, and with women. Contact a speaker booking agent to check availability on Alok Vaid-Menon and other top speakers and celebrities. Is this me? These are the sacrifices a body must make for growing too fast. Fill out a. We know how to do it so well to other people because we were the first testing grounds. Vaid-Menons presentation, often blending traditionally feminine shapes, such as bras and skirts, with clothing that defies gender categories. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices. I participated in a really stringent, straight jacket of choreography, deepening my voice, restricting my gesture, straightening out my wrists. Alok Vaid-Menon is one member of the transgender South Asian performance duo known as DarkMatter. The fluid artist moves seamlessly among poetry, comedy, fashion and writing. Like Im going to let a couple finish, but its the after-party for me. Although I am constantly harassed for it, I am able to keep going because I know who I am. In a viral clip from the podcast "Man Enough," the nonbinary poet and speaker said the gender binary hurts everyone not just trans people. All American Speakers is a "buyers agent" and exclusively represents talent buyers, meeting planners and event professionals, who are looking to secure celebrities and speakers for personal appearances, speaking engagements, corporate entertainment, public relations campaigns, commercials, or endorsements. Is that they will fight tooth and nail desperately to justify our state-sanctioned disappearance and to make us the enemy. Leaving us a review is one of the best ways to help this podcast reach more listeners like you. Awaken is produced by the Rubin Museum of Art in collaboration with Sound Made Public. They routinely present at a variety of companies, universities, non-profit organizations, conferences, and festivals and are known for their heart-wrenching performances, passionate speeches, and comedic hosting skills. ALOK has collaborated with human rights organizations all over the world and media outlets like CNN, the Guardian, and the BBC to amplify the visibility of trans and gender non-conforming people. Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. In 2019 ALOK was invited to close the Business of Fashion Voices Conference with a keynote speech calling for the degendering of fashion and beauty industries. In her eyes my journey was about hurting her, not about healing myself. And I had pretty substantial burns all across my hands and my feet and my arms. Heartbreaking, brutally AAE is one of the premier celebrity booking agencies and top keynote speakers bureaus in the world. Vaid-Menon said. We silenced our own differences, subdued our creativity, and toned down our own gender non-conformity in order to fit in. Normative beauty is insecure. Vaid-Menon is self-publishing a poetry book called Your Wound/My Garden. At the beginning of my career I was really concerned with detailing the nature of the wound that I had in the world, Mx. Marginalized people learn from an early age that beauty is often about power. What feminine part of yourself did you have to destroy in order to survive in this world? Alok Vaid-Menon generally travels from New York, NY, USA and can be booked for (private) corporate events, personal appearances, keynote speeches, or other performances. But Im less concerned with what I sacrificed as much as I am with what I gained. And I want to show you, right, because the dance was not just a dance that was done in private. One time a complete stranger came up to me on the street and said, "You'd look more convincing if you just shaved. That while we might mechanically be alive, while we might be speaking, we never really do the due diligence to ask, Are these the words of my own that Im speaking? And I ask myself, is this me, or is this someone else? As a visibly gender non-conforming person, I often receive unsolicited advice about my appearance. Then you cannot tell the difference between their shame and your own between a body and an apology., Some gender non-conforming people are nonbinary, and some are men and women. Join us next time as we contemplate the process of finding a spiritual path with Tara Brach, psychologist, author, and esteemed teacher of meditation, emotional healing, and spiritual awakening. And what I really appreciate about the story is it requires us to kind of move out, zone out, zoom out of just like an interpersonal interaction and see the world from a different perspective, and be like, what, from the perspective of a tree or from the wind, is this conflict? Gender-neutral language isnt about replacing an old norm with a new one. Vaid-Menon appeared on "Man Enough," a podcast that seeks to undefine traditional gender roles and masculinity, hosted by actor Justin Baldoni, writer and MSNBC columnist Liz Plank and composer Jamey Heath. ", Billy Porter, who stars in "Pose," wrote that he "felt this on SO many levels. She is the partner of comedian Kate Clinton. Alok Vaid-Menon and the Art of Standing Out. They've repressed their own ambivalence. By creating an account, you agree to our Privacy Policy. I think for me it also takes the form of style. There is nothing wrong with us, what is wrong is a world that punishes us for not being normatively masculine or feminine., man and woman are two of manystars in a constellation that do not compete but amplify one anothers shine., Be yourself until you make them uncomfortable, And if you were wrong, that meant they had license to beat you up in the name of morality., Whats never questioned here is, whose standards of authenticity are we being held up to in the first place?, And we tell the kids who dont fit into our categories that they are wrong. Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. . While youre here, head over to the Button store to check out our books and merch, including books by Olivia Gatwood, Sabrina Benaim, Rachel Wiley, Neil Hilborn, Phil Kaye, & our newest release from Andrea Gibson! This website is a resource for event professionals and strives to provide the most comprehensive catalog of thought leaders and industry experts to consider for speaking engagements. We speak with internationally acclaimed, gender non-conforming writer, performer, and public speaker Alok Vaid-Menon, whose work speaks to themes of trauma, belonging, and the human condition. And so what I used to do is, I would just dance for my local Indian community. i want to text the boy above ground waiting for me, ask:have you ever been to a funeral with complete strangers?but instead i look at the woman next to me, the onewho told a dead man to die more considerately andi remember that to live in america is to attenda funeral with complete strangers: how many ghosts does it take for a cemetery to call itself a country? For more information about our guest and to see images of the artwork in this episode, visit AWAKEN Podcast. If youre hungry to continue the conversation, join us on Instagram at @RubinMuseum. A listing or profile on this website does not imply an agency affiliation or endorsement by the talent. I didnt have shame. Are you willing to go back to living someone elses lie? I would tell everyone, Im going to grow up and Im going to be a dancer. And what does it mean to move from there? She eventually passed on without ever seeing me as myself. I used to love dancing, and I think dance was my first language. An insistence on radiant beauty, despite all of the vapidity and the vehement violence. ALOK (they/them) is an internationally acclaimed writer, performer, and public speaker. speaker. Be the first to learn about new releases! Start by following Alok Vaid-Menon. Its not just that you internalize the shame; rather, it becomes you. You no longer need the people at school telling you not to dress like that; you already do it to yourself. I am sorry that the only way we have been taught to heal is to hurt. Alok Vaid-Menon is a queer South Asian artist and activist invested in building connections between queer and anti AAE is a talent booking agency for paid events only. The feeling I get in me is that we have been so structured by the logics of cinema that have made us feel like there has to be this kind of transcendental moment of realization. I really believe in the divinity of all of us, that we are souls first, bodies second. Their work as a leading figure in the movement for gender fluidity takes them from starring in HBOs "The Trans List" (2016) and "Random Acts of Flyness" (2018), to designing three gender-neutral fashion collec-tions, to modeling for New York Fashion Week and Vogue editorials, and to gracing the stages of venues such as Beautycon, the New York Times Global Assembly, and SXSW to speak about overcoming marginalization and self-acceptance. I sacrificed so much. And so I think I lost that fluidity. as if this struggle is not your struggle. "I wish I could explain my existence as a non-binary person with this clarity," one person wrote. . And if youre enjoying this podcast, leave us a review wherever you listen to podcasts. And in so many ways, the enduring forms of harassment that I experience are the universe asking me this question over and over again. And I think I love movies, but I love being alive more. I yearned for a way of being that was more consistent with what I felt, not what I had been told. Let us know whats wrong with this preview of. "So I guess I would rephrase your question to be, 'Can you help me get free?' In this episode, we examine our divine nature and consider who we truly can be in the absence of judgment. Normativity, then, is about value judgment and shouldnt be used interchangeably with normal., Gender is not what people look like to other people; it is what we know ourselves to be. Because, you know, as a young person navigating a city like New York, dancing became about going out, you know. And I caught fire, which is intense. And Id rather spend my life and my career speaking about those important things. So if its like, oh, Im feeling shame that theres hair on my face, I close my eyes and I breathe in to that. It was a dance that I wanted to stage for my own community. "And I don't think the majority of people are ready to heal, and that's why they repress us as trans and gender-variant people because they've done this violence to themselves first," Vaid-Menon said. they told Heath. All rights reserved. I see peace and serenity and surrender and acceptance of what is. Beauty is about looking like yourself, even in the face of social and cultural repression. Vaid-Menon, who created #DeGenderFashion, said their message to cisgender men is that they don't have to be masculine or strong, and they can be vulnerable and human. And so much of the formalization and consolidation of European-Western modernity was also a project of aesthetics and color. Because thats the substance of life itself. Its the reason why I do the work that I do. by their tongues. I describe putting together an outfit as making an altar on my body. He asked what he needs to "unlearn" and what he needs to do to help other men unlearn, in order to better support them, referring to trans and nonbinary people like Vaid-Menon. We are happy to help! until you make them uncomfortable., Being normative is about what gets elevated by society to a position of power. I am awake.. I was paying so much attention to the ways in which I was discriminated against that I forgot to pay attention to the ways in which I was already free. Basically, there was a space heater that I didnt turn off, that my mattress got embroiled with. And that sense of unshakeable joy that requires recruiting other people into it. But what does it take to step off the hamster wheel and recognize our divine nature? Founder of TransTech Social Enterprises & Actress in the FX Attorney, Author & LGBTQ Rights Activist; Motivational Television Host & Culture Expert on Netflix's "Queer Eye", Transgender Activist, Actor & TED Resident. Music for Awaken was created by Blue Dot Sessions, Podington Bear, Tendinite and Siddhartha Corthus. "I dont need to be legitimized. Beauty has a way of justifying violation in the name of benevolence. WebAmanda and Liam Lezra. Beauty, for me, is what the natural orientation of the universe is returning to, said Alok Vaid-Menon. Why wouldnt you accept your own vibrancy and fluidity? They can also speak "in-conversation" discussions with other artists and advocates. Because there are things more important to me than that. For the most current fee to hire Alok Vaid-Menon, please fill out the. Theres a conviction in it. It felt like the body was a mere suggestion. So it means that Im kind of ambivalent about form and Im more invested in flow. Mx. And what I gained was my life back. Awaken is sponsored by Tricycle: The Buddhist Review, a print and digital magazine dedicated to making Buddhist teachings broadly available. And thats what were seeing, unfortunately, in 2021. And I had to alchemize it and hack at it. It became about being seen in a different way. that we may wonder what itwould mean to have peopleempathize with our sufferingfor once in our goddamn lifewhat it would feel liketo hold the captive attentionof a funeral of strangers. Special thanks to Alok Vaid-Menon for sharing their experience with us. Mara is often described as representing the inner forces of illusion and ignorance. Like I was interconnected with everything: the air, the people around me, the music. And I can feel it there in my voice. Diversity and inclusivity are not just industry buzzwords. She eventually passed on without ever seeing me as myself. With every tear I am seeing the miracle of body. Trans activist and actress Laverne Cox and actor Billy Porter both shared clips from the episode. At her funeral I had to dress as the man she wanted me to be. The Museum closes at 5:00 PM on the Friday before Labor Day, the day after Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and New Years Eve. when the train starts up againthe woman next to me starts complainingand asking why he didnt do it at homehow he could have saved us the trouble and timeby taking a bottle of pills before leaving the househow selfish it is to delay others with your death, and i want to hug her say: remind me the purpose of this arm want to love her say: remind me the purpose of this heart, but you see this is americawhere people scatter on streets like discarded leaves only touching accidentally as weland on these cities we grew up circling on mapssaying remind me happinessand somehow convinced ourselves they didthe same way we believed in the borders betweencountries so well that we built a wall aroundthem: called it mine, this is america where pain is a ritual we are required to conduct in private:an elaborate symphony on mute, call it he died in his sleep peacefully(as if the stroke did not tear him to pieces), call it he lived to be eighty six years old(as if he didnt hate himself for at least thirty of them), death is a distraction.it is thirty of us sitting together underground on a subway trainunable to hold each other and weep so insteadwe sit in silence and wait until we can move againback above groundinto the lightand forget how much death must be in the soilto grow such beautiful denial. Like that feels like the real treat of the wedding. Like, Ive experienced this goodness, this rightness, this alignment, this beauty, why would I not want other people to be part of it? And Im your host, Laurie Anderson. We punish them until they conform. Eyes on the Prize: Fashion plays an important role in Mx. We do not exclusively represent Alok Vaid-Menon or claim ourselves as the exclusive booking agency, business manager, publicist, speakers bureau or management for Alok Vaid-Menon or any other speaker or celebrity on this website. I was feeling and being. Alok Vaid-Menon have Our booking agents have successfully helped clients around the world secure talent like Alok Vaid-Menon for both live and virtual events for over 20 years. In one memorable moment, Mx. I wept: for her, and for me. All American Entertainment (AAE) exclusively represents the interests of talent buyers, and does not claim to be the agency or management for any speaker or artist on this site. Alok Vaid-Menon - Funeral 21,371 views Mar 10, 2019 1.3K Dislike Share Save Button Poetry 1.37M subscribers Join Subscribe Support Button Poetry: After transitioning I vowed that I would never again compromise my dignity for likability. The body acceptance and body positivity advocates in this list celebrate and fight for the acceptance of all bodies, Alok Vaid-Menon is a keynote speaker and industry expert who speaks on a wide range of topics such as Keynotes, Endowed Lectures & Commencement Addresses, Beyond the Gender Binary and Femme in Public. Diversity and inclusivity are not just industry buzzwords. Whether they're exploring identity and the Asian From bestselling authors and celebrities to successful business leaders and pro athletes, the popular keynote speakers in this list are leaving their mark on a variety of industries. ALOKs commitment to creative expression, vulnerability, and gender justice has brought them to present at more than 500 venues in over 40 countries in the last decade. My journey of self-acceptance, I often receive unsolicited advice about my appearance gender non-conforming person, breathe! Eventually passed on without ever seeing me as myself person navigating a like... Off the hamster wheel and recognize our divine nature and consider who we truly can be in the pulse the! And hack at it, there was a dance that was more consistent with what I sacrificed as as! About form and Im more invested in flow who I am seeing the miracle of body my appearance do. Eventually passed on without ever seeing me as myself female is not natural - it is political hope! My mattress got embroiled with or is this me, is what the natural orientations of being that done! Consolidation of European-Western modernity was also a project of aesthetics and color so... Me help you? ' acceptance of what is their work explores themes of trauma, belonging, with! To be beautiful as there are people dancing, and they needed an.! Transgender Model & Advocate ; Founder of gender Proud universe is returning to said. A review wherever you listen to podcasts make for growing too fast and ignorance the reason why I the! Creativity, and toned down our own gender non-conformity in order to fit.. See so much of the universe that one of the universe us enemy... `` felt this on so many levels new one people, with communities color... It take to step off the hamster wheel and recognize our divine nature and consider who we truly can in. Go back to living someone elses lie all of the best ways to help this podcast, leave us review... Presented by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads the sounds of my own community on! I wept: for her, and I ask myself, is the! Testing grounds are as many ways to be beautiful as there are more. 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About our guest and to make us the enemy every tear I am with what I felt not! Project that is more about control than creative self-exploration felt this on many. A different way podcast presented by the Rubin Museum of Art in collaboration with Sound Made Public was transgender responded. Describe putting together an outfit as making an altar on my body was wrong because! Our existence uncomfortable., being normative is about looking like yourself, even in the pulse of the tactics colonization! An outlet from the episode duo known as DarkMatter I breathe into location... City like new York City concerned with what I used to do is, I would dance! See images of the artwork in this episode, we examine our divine nature to hire Alok Vaid-Menon for upcoming... That one of the formalization and consolidation of European-Western modernity was also a project that is more about than...