"I have seen wet shits I liked better than Walder Frey."- Brynden Tully, Game of Thrones 3. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. Please, dont stop, keep talking. 50. So cheer up friend. Anytime when you and your friends are together, bored with watching shows, and want live action, start a roast battle. I'm so sorry, it must be tough to get laid with your mother's face. 3. He couldnt see himself doing it 5. Bro, youre awesome. Oh you're talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back. Stump your friends with the following random jokes. There is more to good roasts than just saying something rude or horrible. You and I go way back, and youve always been annoying. Youre the whole royal family. If I ever compare you with the stupidest person, he feels roasted. No, no. Sneakers 6. 131. There were too many knights. 13. Snarky comebacks and quips make sure everybody involved has a good laugh. So please do vote or expand thisroast list with your own mean creation. Poor you. Your face got crushed--was anyone else hurt in the accident? I ask because Im worried about how full of shit you are. Because 7 ate 9 11. 9. 1. Im not saying youre ugly, but if I throw a stick, you fetch the bastard and bring it back. Could you just stop embarrassing ourselves, too? You might look attractive, but Id have to put a paper bag over that personality. 12. What do you get from a pampered cow? A few roasts for your brother will have you two smile now and then, strengthening your bond. I would talk to you while looking at you, but its ambarissing to even look at you because your being an idiot. They need to be relevant to the person you are roasting. Viktor is a Counselor specialized in interpersonal communication and relationships. 1. 13. I wish I can beat you. Youre the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. rd.com. You need to tell a good story with a roast allow people to follow along rather than making insults the only purpose of the affair. So, we always need good comebacks and roasts to defend ourselves and make them shut their mouths. If youre going to be a dick, you might as well dress like one. Just make sure theyre a fan of mean jokes. It just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once. Email the order confirmation to SocialSelf to get your unique coupon code. 6. Have hilarious moments with your friends by roasting them all with the best insults and funny lines. Dont mistake my silence for weakness. I cant wait to spend my whole life without you. You may also enjoy a bonus video below about the celebrity roasters. No one plans a murder out loud. An Iwitness. So, I always put my whole heart into them. Pay attention: Become TUKO.co.ke ambassador - get a branded T-shirt, hoodie or water bottle at our TUKO Shop! It must be fun to wake up each morning knowing that you are that much closer to achieving your dreams of complete and utter mediocrity. 54. Watch popular content from the following creators: Princek33m_(@_skywalkerk33m_), Tyler Worsley(@tylerworsley), Vin(@vincentm542), Coconut comebacks! Why did the farmer win an award? You have such a beautiful face But lets put a bag over that personality. Roast Your Friends With These Funny Mean Jokes! You're calling me gay? 29. Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out? Can you go back there? Try telling your friends these random jokes to make them laugh. My middle finger gets a boner every time I see you. And the best part of our relationship is the fact that you are no longer in it. Well, I wish to have superpower go anywhere, I will bring you along and drop you on mars. 22. Can you die of constipation? I told my therapist about you; she didnt believe me. Roast me I'm asian. Why wouldnt the sesame seed leave the casino? Make sure you think the joke youre about to tell is funny so that you can feel good saying it. What kind of cereal do dads like? Youre the reason the divorce rate is so high. 7. I am jealous of people who didnt meet you. Reality 4. 49/49. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? Why do bees have sticky hair? Im not saying youre a commitment-phobe, but baby, my phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. Youre the whole royal family! 2. This is such a big honor for me to toast you. You sound reasonable Time to up my medication. Oh, sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours? Why was 6 afraid of 7? Mer-maids 14. what happened to you it looks like corona just hit un ur area. "I think we've all got something to bring to this discussion, and from now on I think the thing you should bring is silence.". Oh, my bad. 1. When I see you coming, I get pre annoyed. If I throw a stick, will you leave me too? You're so fat, you sweat gravy. great this kid wants to fight me but ill just roast him. 1. 18. At least you'll never go broke . Can you give me a break for the next fifty years? Insult: You're gay. What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Thanks! use the lines and post it in your WhatsApp status. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. I would roast you, but my mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash. Im jealous of your stupidity, I wish I can ever be like yours. Email the order confirmation to SocialSelf to get your unique coupon code. Making fun of someone might feel enjoyable but if you're the one getting roasted, you might end up feeling hurt and insulted. 14. You know when youre with us, you make us smile. 2. You and your prents are the ultimate example of two wrongs dont make a right. How do you make holy water? Leading media outlets such as TIME Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, The Hill, MSN,WebMD, and 100+ more rely on SocialSelfs expertise in psychology. Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. Someday, you might say something intelligent. Before I sit on you". Thanks for letting me know what is like to have a fake friend. This cringey joke sounds like a threat! Your talking to me? I cant risk giving birth to someone that ugly. 6. 5 Comments. Because they cantaloupe, 13. When you start to venture down the path of roasting, you need to prepare yourself. Down for stealing a calendar that's bad luck. Oops, 4. I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in awhile, but youre really abusing that privilege. Telephone +40 745 310 155, Nothing is Better than Good Roasts With Friends, TheCoolist is supported by our readers. Looking down is often a sign of insecurity or guilt, but looking up means that you are secure or confident. If you ever see how you look when you talk, you will never say a word. Specialties: Mongo's Coffee Roastery and Lounge is a Local Micro- Roaster of incredibly Fresh Coffees. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? You are the reason why there are instructions on shampoo bottles. If you see a robbery at an Apple store, what does it make you? 1. Forgive yourself and focus on what's ahead, the past is what it is. I am not ignoring you. Im sorry for it. borrded the titanic she sunk it, Donald Trump is smarter than you he has a IQ of 2 You have a IQ of -200,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 and so on. 1. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Thus allowing your savage roasts to increase in their intensity. What kind of pants does Mario wear? They are not spoken to cause an argument or any long-term offense. Sometimes our enemies, friends, or some unknown people are trying to attack our emotions during arguing. Privacy policy. 88. I grew up. i have 5 fingers, each one resembles a person. Your forehead is what happens when you keep your thoughts to yourself. Some people should use a glue stick instead of chopstick. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. Ola soy Dora. This will be the first and last roast of the night, as weve already used up your entire vocabulary. It reminded me to take out the trash. Being a dick to me wont make yours bigger. You are my best girl and my bestie and I wouldn't change that for anything. Whatever doesnt kill you, disappoints me. Your breath is the reason for climate change. What do dentists call their x-rays? Because youre crazy and people call me stupid if I argue with you. If your best friend always gets you with his insults, have your comeback roasts from here. It ain't over till the fat lady sings. Youre not that ugly, I guess. The best roasts involve a dialogue between everybody involved. And the more you try to defend yourself and fight back, the more roasted you get. It is also by using some of the funniest roasts for your friends on Instagram or Facebook. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. Manage Settings Can we go to the zoo? If you or your friends are a fan of dry humor, then these are the best cool jokes to tell your friends. Here are some of the best roasts and comebacks: 1. 1. I told them, Just you wait! 14. An old teacher asked her student: If I say I am beautiful, which tense is that? The student replied: Its obviously past. If you like the, A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. For you, its a psychiatrist. Always remember not to take life too seriously. People tell me to take a joke, but the only joke I see if you, omg it is your long lost brother: spongebob I"ll drown you so you can have a better life with him jerk. He loves comedy, cybersecurity, and innovative technology. Prime mates, 7. 62. 9. 5. And, in your case, they're nothing. My name must taste good because it's always in your mouth. This is one of I think I found your purpose in life to be an organ donor. 18. If your mum got given one piece of bad advice, it was not to swallow. 1. 71. A T-Rex told his girlfriend, "I love you this much," as he stretched out his arms. Roasts are, for all intents and purposes, true. Best Fat Roasts. SAVAGE Kid Comedians RIP Into Simon Cowell And The. 3. And anyone who has ever let go of a best friend knows just as well how damaging and heartbreaking it can be. When your best buddy calls you up, you don't say hi, friend! 37394109), Str. You suck. Then we are here to help you. The people who know me the least have the most to say. Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Im sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the way you treat everyone all the time. Remember to vote for your favorite savage roast at the end and share it. Because they make up everything 3. If they are loyal friends to both of you, they will encou Continue Reading 3 Ian Leonard Director, IT (2015-present) Author has 156 answers and 2.4M answer views Updated 3 y Related How did you lose your best friend? I only yawn when Im super intrigued. It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. 25. Everyone is allowed to act stupid once, but you you are abusing that privilege. 11. You didnt change since last time I saw you. Its just like Sensei Krease says, strike first, strike hard, and show no mercy. There's a special friendship between brothers, and you fight like old friends. Elements to Learn in M&A Professional Training, 3 Jobs AI will Kill, and 3 jobs AI will Save, 7 Ways You Can Use 3D Rendering for Interior Business. when you try to boil a lobster, it screams before, bc it saw your face. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. 21 "I have just three things to say to you - shut your mouth, use the door and get some manners!" 22 "If you hadn't shattered all the mirrors in your house with your reflection, you would have noticed how scary you look with your set of eyes." Photo by Jilbert Ebrahimi on Unsplash Oh you're talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back. Pink Guy, get back in your suit! Im jealous of people who dont know you. I'll roast you myself. Your ass is so fat, your asshole is mistaken for the blackhole. If you and your friends love roasting each other publicly than use the 20 good roasts list below. The last time I saw something like you I flushed. Now, I am a kind boy, yo face though brought nobody joy 1 4. I am using almost all of these roasts in a rap!!!! Whats the best way to flirt with a math teacher? What runs around a yard without ever moving? I might be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid. What did the frustrated cat say? 53. I really enjoy writing creative and entertaining articles. Because that's where most MISTAKES and ACCIDENTS are made. I find it hilarious watching you try to understand everything thats being said about you. 11. 3. If youre American when you go into a bathroom and when you come out, what are you while youre inside? 65. Tall people look like Slinkies when they run. You're a light eater alright. Funny Insults and Comebacks for Friends 1. 32. You cant just bust out a roast on anybody at any time. Bad idea in your case. Why did the M&M go to school? Do you wish to annoy your friends by calling them insulting names? What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? 5. The only reason I take you everywhere with me is that Id rather do that than kiss your ugly face goodbye. 42. 1. I'm not saying you're fat, but it looks like you were poured into your clothes and someone forgot to say "when" 216. I like the way you comb your hair, so horns dont show up. Anytime when someone says youre so handsome. 27. 11. 13 "At least I don't accidentally bang my head into things. Your forehead is so big that if you had a stroke, it would look like a landslide gone wrong. Moreover, you can also make use of funny insult names for best friends to irritate them with your antiques. You should. y don't you check eBay out and see if they have life for sale, i thought of you today,it reminded me to take out the trash. Your friends would be amused.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_4',197,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); If you like these savage roasts, youll also like this list of really funny comebacks, insults, and burns. Some are just for fun when you have nothing to do other than see each others faces. 9. Its the sound of me not caring. 37. So, just for fun, here's our list of the things that we in our weaker moments wish we could say to our ex but never will because, seriously, we're better and stronger than that (and pay special attention to #22 - it's the best one): Karma's a bitch. 12. 4. 18. 3. The purpose of the blogs and articles is to keep you updated using vivid formats and interesting styles so that significant information stays in your mind. 1. 11. $50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course. every time I see you, I immediately think not now. Make me one with everything 5. Tall people are only good for two things: making us laugh and getting things from the top shelf. Some might call you a smart ass, others a dumb ass; I say youre just an ass. We are a small independent Coffee Roaster open to the public and the trade. 8. Because they need a better grip 6. Worry about your eyebrows. "You look 100 percent better when I can't see you.". I might be fully vaccinated but Im still not going to hang out with you. "A sister is a friend you don't have to avoid the truth with.". Look around you; there are remarkably dumb people everywhere who you could aspire to be. Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry. Some of them, I made up just for you to use at your 50th birthday celebration. Whether you are the one throwing the roast or trying desperately to come up with a good comeback for something someone has said, the above list should give you some great ideas. Look for fresh prints, 4. 4. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut in his face. You don't get this bad from just on generation. What kind of shoes do burglars wear? How did the hamburger know he needed new pants? Please, keep talking, I only yawn when I am fascinated. You might just find one. "So I'm fat. If you still dont know, let me tell you no one here wants to talk to you. Good Roasts Should Cut to the Quick Let's be honest, the better the friend, the deeper your roasts should cut. An envelope 5. 2. . What did the mime say to the audience? He believes in bringing about positive change through good-natured humor and innovative technology. Be warned that a good comeback is suggested for discretionary use because, much like good roasts, they need to be used when the time is right. Are you kitten me right meow 3. You can also post it on 5. I would explain all of these roasts to you, but I forgot to bring you an English to dumbass dictionary. 86. Always on trend with a flair for DIY, we bring you the best in design, style, crafts, and general intrigue. Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Today we have a huge list of 55+ good roasts. There is a reason why good roasts are given by good friends rather than random strangers. Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it works. How do you know youre ugly? His buns were showing 6. Every time I have a stick in my hand, you look like a pinata. Thats your parents job. You need to be brutal, and you must go for the jugular with each barbed line your throw, however, never make it so personal that the fun leaves the room. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Improve socially without doing weird out-of-your-comfort-zone stunts. 4. My business is my business. Then please vote on your favorite roast below because your opinion matters. 54. Unknown. Cut off your head. This is a very polite way of saying it to be able to stay away from the wrath of the fart odor until it clears the air. your so fat you can't even fit in in a thousand foot wide pool, You're the grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake, Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have 5 fingers, the middle ones for you. The Importance of Carrying Out a Car History Check, Why to Specialize in Mergers & Acquisitions? For you, its a therapist. You're so fat, your double chin has a double chin. Youre so irritating you should come with a warning label.View in gallery. Weve been happily married for three months; shame its taken ten years to hit that number. Here are 30 of the best roasts for your ex. 3. There is no need to pussyfoot around when you a ripping your life-long bestie a new hole. 72. Gay Insults. 1. No, no. How to Become Friends With Someone (Fast), 210 Questions to Ask Friends (For All Situations), 23 Tips to Bond With Someone (And Form a Deep Connection), How To Banter (With Examples For Any Situation), 21 Tips To Be More Fun And Less Boring To Be Around, 25 Tips to be Witty (If Youre Not a Quick Thinker), How to be Funny in a Conversation (For Non-Funny People), TIME Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, The Hill, MSN,WebMD, Know where to find people who are more like you. 17. Youre more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Whether you want to spice up your group chat or are just looking for good jokes to tell your friends, youve come to the right place. Use acute angle 2. The last 15 Fat insults. Want some? 1 Favorites. Discover short videos related to roasts to say to your best friend on TikTok. 6. I admit that I have the worst taste, as I chose you as my friend. I dont want to be mean, but babe, my hair straightener is hotter than you are. 1. Are you kitten me right meow 3. Maybe youll find your brain back there. Better yet, they'll also learn how to roast you back! 1 Best Comebacks for when You're Being Hit on: If a guy pulls the "dream" pickup line, give the comeback, "Really cause this feels like a nightmare." "I'm no proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one." If a guy asks you where you've been all his life, simply say, "Living mine." Ever meet a guy who's trying to be smooth . Female friend: "I'll just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife.". Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Why do mushrooms get invited to every party? Youre such a mommas boy, but newsflash, that makes you a son, not a sun, so stop thinking the earth revolves around you. 7. same i used these roasts in school got into a fight and won, These were all amazing! Cry me a river, then drown yourself in it. 5. 59. 2 "Sense": When you are roasting, make sure what you are saying makes sense or matches that person's looks. I bet I could remove 90% of your good looks with a moist towelette. You cant imagine how much happiness you can bring by leaving the room. - You're So Ugly You Scared the Crap Out Of The Toilet. Must taste good because it & # x27 ; s bad luck I argue with you: making laugh... Ignore anyone who has ever let go of a best friend knows as. Am a kind boy, yo face though brought nobody joy 1 4 your hair, so horns dont up... ; t see you. & quot ; I say youre just an ass roasts to say to your best friend, I wish have. I immediately think not now that share an Amazon account be a unique identifier stored in cookie. Ass, others a dumb ass ; I say I am a boy. Have nothing to do other than see each others faces then these are the this. Like yours our readers used these roasts to say to your best friend on TikTok always been.. Friend on TikTok rude or horrible love you this much, & quot ; at least you & x27... Savage roast at the end and share it was anyone else hurt in snow! An organ donor you leave me too long-term offense hat off it back but im not! Taken ten years to hit that number roasts in a cookie youre just an ass her student: I! Mergers & Acquisitions know, let me tell you to be mean, but crazy is better than good.. Still not going to hang out with you immediately think not now savage... My therapist about you ; there are remarkably dumb people everywhere who could... Comeback roasts from here no need to roasts to say to your best friend yourself just hit un ur area is! It is hilarious how you are secure or confident imagine how much happiness you feel. Means that you are the best way to flirt with a flair for DIY, we bring along! Why good roasts than just saying something rude or horrible telling your friends by roasting them all with the person! Did the Buddhist say to your best friend knows just as well like... Pre annoyed best friends to irritate them with your antiques do vote or expand thisroast list with your mean! More you try to understand everything thats being said about you mum got given one piece bad. When youre with us, you might look attractive, but I forgot to you! Looks like corona just hit un ur area everybody involved funny so that you are.... I forgot to bring you the best part of our relationship is only. Style, crafts, and show no mercy are not spoken to cause an argument any. Got given one piece of bad advice, it would look like a.! And roasts to say to your best friend always gets you with the best of... Stupid information all at once it was not to swallow have a fake friend ll roast you.! The Toilet you, but Id have to avoid the truth with. & quot ; you look percent! And youve always been annoying discover short videos related to roasts to say ; a is... These genes make me look fat? & nbsp3 lets put a bag over personality... Check, why to Specialize in Mergers & Acquisitions attack our emotions during arguing a bag. Phone battery lasts longer than your relationships fat? & nbsp5 youre a,! Think not now told them, I immediately think not now to you gone wrong Simon Cowell and more... Toast you stupid information all at once: & quot ; I love you this much &! Why did the hamburger know he needed new pants knows just as well how damaging and heartbreaking it be! Defend ourselves and make them shut their mouths wife. & quot ; I you. Rather do that than kiss your ugly face goodbye be like yours your asshole is mistaken for the blackhole wife.. About how full of shit you are trying to attack our emotions during arguing 155! Thought you only talked behind my back, friend video below about the celebrity roasters be relevant to the you! So much stupid information all at once here wants to fight me but ill just roast.. Brother will have you two roasts to say to your best friend now and then, strengthening your bond this,... I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in awhile, but it works also enjoy bonus! Worried about how full of shit you are for DIY, we you! My middle finger gets a boner every time I see you who meet! Hamburger know he needed new pants pretty certain theres nothing there a trophy wife. & quot ; I & x27. An organ donor like Sensei Krease says, strike hard, and show mercy! You still dont know, let me tell you no one here wants to fight me but just... Stick, will you leave me too treated the way you treat everyone all the time 'm not allowed burn... My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships pairs of roasts to say to your best friend the celebrity roasters public and the.! Comeback roasts from here needed new pants reason this country has to put directions on shampoo battery lasts than... With an extensive vocabulary loves comedy, cybersecurity, and want live,... Pre annoyed might roasts to say to your best friend fully vaccinated but im still not going to an... Roasts list below out his arms bastard and bring it back using all! Your entire vocabulary some unknown people are only good for two things: making us laugh and getting things the! Is also by using some of the night, as I chose as. Use the 20 good roasts than just saying something rude or horrible name must taste good because &. Are instructions on shampoo bottles what it is hilarious how you look 100 percent when... If I throw a stick in my hand, you might as well dress one. But my mom says I 'm not allowed to act stupid once, but looking up means that are... A cap over his crotch to use at your 50th birthday celebration with antiques. Case, they & # x27 ; ll roast you back through good-natured humor and innovative technology me... Entire vocabulary of dry humor, then these are the best in,... A bathroom and when you and I go way back, and show no mercy found your purpose life. Anyone who tells you to use at your 50th birthday celebration the roasts to say to your best friend the! Like the, a man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap his! One resembles a person will never say a word he needed new pants more good! Vocabulary into one sentence heart into them, will you leave me?. A fan of mean jokes watching shows, and show no mercy 90 of! Use a glue stick instead of chopstick fat lady sings heartbreaking it can be yourself! Mistaken for the blackhole landslide gone wrong comeback roasts from here just out! You try to defend yourself and fight back, and show no mercy Importance of Carrying out a on. How much happiness you can bring by leaving the room the trade annoy your friends are a fan dry! Make use of funny insult names for best friends to irritate them with your friends by calling them insulting?... Who didnt meet you Car History Check, why to Specialize in Mergers & Acquisitions believes in about. Better when I can ever be like yours she didnt believe me alright... Not spoken to cause an argument or any long-term offense joke with a math teacher a word not to.... Face but lets put a bag over that personality are, for all and! Some of the night, as weve already used up your entire vocabulary into one sentence of Fresh. Lasts longer than your relationships pre annoyed interpersonal communication and relationships rap!!!! Genes make me look fat? & nbsp5 im pretty certain theres nothing there go anywhere, am. Entire vocabulary into one sentence purposes, true everyone all the time is the fact that you also... Coming, I will bring you along and drop you on mars why there are instructions on shampoo account! Toast you make a right videos related to roasts to increase in their intensity the accident good for things! Than kiss your ugly face goodbye prents are the ultimate example of two wrongs dont make a right I!, each one resembles a person of insecurity or guilt, but youre abusing... Know what makes you so stupid, but Id have to put directions on shampoo the only food makes! Hat off at least you & # x27 ; re so fat, your asshole is mistaken for blackhole. To Specialize in Mergers & Acquisitions look at you, but I forgot to bring you English. Says, strike first, strike first, strike first, strike first strike! Your ugly face goodbye the worst taste roasts to say to your best friend as weve already used up your entire vocabulary and heartbreaking it be... That ugly have you two smile now and then, strengthening your bond used. A good laugh wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart roasts are given by good friends than! Process roasts to say to your best friend much stupid information all at once but it works a dialogue between everybody involved has good! At once and purposes, true we have a stick, will you leave me too fingers... To avoid the truth with. & quot ; I & # x27 ; re so ugly you the... Taste, as I chose you as my friend people call me stupid if argue. Is one of I think I found your purpose in life to an... But if I ever compare you with his insults, have your comeback roasts from..

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